As I near the end of the workday, I need to take a minute and breathe while watching this sea star move oh-so-slowly. This morning there were a couple of tasks on my calendar, but nothing crazy. I thought I would have plenty of time to reflect, plan, and take a "balcony view" of things, after what has been a busier-than-average week.
Nope.
I am realizing that while things kept moving forward during the pandemic, it was at a human pace, a manageable pace, a reasonable pace. I felt good about what got done, and could rest knowing that what remained undone would eventually get done. I thought I had internalized the truth that I don't make the world spin with my productivity. I felt free to breathe - to be as well as to do. And now that things are beginning to open up, the pace around me has picked up and swept me up in it. I am not sure this is a good thing. My racing heart, shallow breathing, and clenched jaw tells me it is not.
I am grateful for my long walk this morning, and for the lesson of this starfish that no matter how fast the world spins, I am still just one person. I have limitations. And I will not be my best self if I deny everything I've learned during this pandemic about what it takes for me to live in balance.
As I've written this, three more emails have come in. God, grant me the peace to know that what is done is done. What remains undone today will get done, if it needs to be done. Remind me of my belovedness just for being, not for doing. Thank you for commanding Sabbath rest. Let my heart rest in you. Time for another walk. Amen.
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